On how long it has been.


I've been negligent.

I'm so very, very sorry.

The last five months have been crazy: finishing up my degree...keeping up with the pace and merriment of the holiday season...and, of course, A's continual growth and development.

About that:

I am astounded. Quite literally astounded. My little boy is nearly one year old. He is standing up. He is days away from walking alone. He is getting Teeth Nine and Ten. He says "dada" and is thisclose to saying "mama," which breaks my heart in only the best possible way.

The last year has positively flown by. My baby isn't quite a baby anymore. Of course, he'll always be my baby and all of the other sentimental (but true) jargon that goes along with raising a child. But he's practically a little boy. He's vocal, he's mobile, he's tremendously independent. He can feed himself. He can get himself from Point A to Point B without any hassle.

I am so overwhelmingly proud of the person that he's becoming every single day...but I am still overwhelmingly sad that he's becoming that person. It means he needs me a little less every single day, which throws my thoughts and hormones and just my general feelings completely out of whack.

I was talking to my husband last week about how I feel as if I'm in limbo. I feel like I just gained steady footing when it came to parenting an infant, and now that I have that steady footing? My infant is gone, replaced with a walking, talking, fit-throwing toddler.

It is so much for me to wrap my head around that I didn't even know if I wanted to write this post. I had no clue what to say, or if what I wanted to say was worthwhile because it's such a messy knot of emotions. I guess in the long run, it doesn't matter if what I say is coherent or fluid. I am just so pleasantly shocked at how my precious little gift of a child is turning into a little man.

It's just so much to take in.