Tremendous Love

I have a babysitter for A who is available -and willing to- watch him the whole day. I have a list of tasks that need to be accomplished on my to do list. I have no schoolwork to do, job to go to, or other such distractions/obligations. I have a giant cup of iced coffee next to me and a fully charged laptop.

However.

I cannot, for the life of me, find the motivation to get any of it done.

I used to be extremely driven. Like, we are talking overboard. I did more than I absolutely needed to do. I finished things quickly and efficiently. I overachieved, for sure.

But then I got married. I got so comfortable in my marriage that I let a lot of things go including, but not limited to, my weight, my temper, and my motivation.

But then I had a baby. And my lack of motivation got even worse, if that’s possible! Don’t get me wrong: when it comes to getting things done in relation to little A, I am on top of it. Seriously ON TOP OF IT. Too much, in fact. He will never, ever feel the direct brunt of my lack of motivation.

However.

I feel like I have fallen off the wagon in so many ways, and I am just clueless about how to get back on. I fear that the longer I go without just forcing myself to follow through immediately with the little things in my life that just need to get done, the farther from the wagon I will end up being.

I suppose I just need to buck up and do it. Whatever “it” is, I suppose…